New decades don’t arrive as much as the old one collapses under its weight of failure and disappointment. The participants of each decade — those who came of age, and those who became the cornerstone and decision makers — always end up being remembered for the same things – what they didn’t do, the things they wouldn’t do and the stupid shit they did.
Those of us who were born in the 1960s, grew up in the 1970s and came of age in the 1980s will forever be remembered as the douchebags who fucked it all up; who finally dropped the torch. It’s not our fault. Being a generation is hard. Really hard. And when you think about it, it’s easy to get it right when you don’t have a choice. I mean it’s easy to be on the right side of history when history is driving the bus.
You came of age in the early 1960s and stood up for civil rights. Good for you. The 1970s you chanted “Make love not war!” WELL FUCK YOU, MAN!!! I came of age in the 1980s and we like war. War is where you make your bones. Our problem was all the good wars were taken. The War to End All Wars! The War to Make the World Save for Democracy! Yeah, that one. The first one: WORLD WAR I, BABY!!! History might point out the obvious – that a-whole-‘nother world war came after the war to end all wars, so doesn’t that mean the first world war must have technically failed? Doesn’t matter. Or history might note that democracy is now doing tricks for billionaires, so doesn’t that mean we failed that part too? So what, we said. Come on, now. The first world war was practice, but we got it right the second time. That’s right, I’m talking about WORLD WAR II. See, we did fight a good war. And … WON IT!!! Says so right her on the cover of every book written about it. …. Just ask your great-granddaddy — or that guy down the road with the confederate flag in his front yard.
You see, son, we need our war to make the world safe for the next war. The only fucked up thing is all the good easy wars are taken. The War on Poverty … The War on Illiteracy … The War on Drugs … Ah, man … The War on Women was so good the Republican Party and the Taliban decided to share it.
We like wars.
I tell you what, give us that one in the corner. No, don’t knock the dust off World War III. Let a later generation get that one. Give us that one! Yeah, that one — The War on Terror. Yeah, that’s the one. Endless. Futile. A drain on lives and resources. You’ll be safe all right, after you’ve handed over your last right and last tax dollar to some contractor from the military-industrial complex. That’s right — we’re outsourcing your jobs AND the protection of your ass. Oh yeah, that’s the war for us. Open ended and never ending – now THAT’S a war we can wrap our ADD minds aro – You know what else is nice??? WINNING!!!! We want to be like the generations that fought the cold war – you know, from the 50s to the 80s. They won. Well, we beat those communist. OK, so technically we beat those communist and they were replaced by a nation of even more communist. All right, so technically the Russians might not have even stopped being communist; so maybe the jury is still out on if we won or not. You know what, Fuck it! Send the jury home. A win is a win and there’s no need ruining the chance of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory by introducing facts. DEATH TO FACTS!! … Facts — don’t be coming around here no more, no more; don’t be coming around here no more … We don’t need facts. We found out all we really need is a belief, a slogan and a chant. “MINORITIES RUINED MY COUNTRY … USA! … USA!! … USA!!!
Turns out we need poor people. Soylent Green has to be made of something (OK, someone! I was trying to be polite) and I’ve got a credit card that says I’m rich and a shotgun that says I’m free. So it ain’t going to be me. I may be grist for the mill, but I’m not food for the pot. That’s for people who didn’t follow the path and make peace with the Trinity – greed, conservatism, and hubris. Three things, buddy: if God didn’t want me to have it, He wouldn’t have given it to me; and if He had wanted you to have it, He’d have given it to you. And as for hubris … HUBRIS!?! I don’t know who this Hue Bris guy is, but I’ll kick his ass, too. I’m an America. I don’t take crap off of anybody.
Did you know that our generation is going to be the first in our nation’s history not to do as well as our parents? That’s right – WEREN’T NUMBER ONE, BABY!! Make that with a bullet; because I’ll shoot anyone who questions if we’re the greatest nation. And I’m so angry I want to shoot a brown person. Somebody has to be at fault and since it can’t be me it has to be you: the brown people … the intellectuals … the liberals … progressives.
The future is a scary place filled with people who don’t look like me and speak a language that I don’t speak.
Our parent’s America was unquestionably the greatest nation on earth, and I’ve got nothing against being a fascist if it will save the democracy I love so much.
Welcome to America, bitches … Love it or leave it. You know what – I love it, so you leave it. Next flight leaves tomorrow. Be under it. Next bus leaves in an hour. Start walking.